39 days.

Tuesday 30th July 1996

40 days.

Went school shopping and discovered that the "Time Tunnel", not only "The Cartoon Shop" is moving to larger premises. I bought a "Star Trek Voyager" video, "Tattoo" and "Cold Fire", the first episodes I have seen. Music and stories good.

Monday 29th July 1996

41 days.

I may be going flying in a small Prentice (Prentis?) some time next week. Everybody is dying or getting injured in the soaps. Michael Ross drowned in "Home And Away", Sam punched Stonefish for his affair with Annalise in "Neighbours" and Ian Beale's son has been run over in "Eastenders".

Sunday 28th July 1996

42 days.

The flight was good. We went fast to take off and although I had butterflies in my stomach for half the 30 minute trip, I took many good pictures. I kept the in-flight magazine but left the safety leaflet.

I uploaded this gallery of photos from the flight.

Saturday 27th July 1996

43 days.

Just one day to my first ever flight in an aeroplane. What put me off is the plane crash in "Due South" this evening. And the fact that Fraser the Mountie was blinded and paralysed because of it.

Friday 26th July 1996

44 days.

I've had a brilliant "X-Files" story idea; whilst investigating a homicide of a millionaire in Bermuda, Scully disappears. Mulder tries to contact X but is contacted by a new informant who happens to be female. On investigating several UFO sightings in the area, Mulder wonders whether Scully was abducted by aliens again. A tropical storm blows in, as does a host of unexplainable events. The new informant warns him off and he shoots her to go into the eye of the storm. The Greys have returned for someone. It turns out the new informant is actually Samantha Mulder who came to save her brother from an incurable illness that only the Greys can cure.

Thursday 25th July 1996

45 days.

I've got a bit of a sore throat which I hope will be better by Saturday for the flight.

Wednesday 24th July 1996

46 days.

I've been looking for different episodes of "The X-Files" and I'm having trouble. I've worked out that I have about 38.25 hours of it on tape.

Tuesday 23rd July 1996

47 days.

Domingo returned to the vet for three blood tests. His neck has been shaved so he looks like a turkey. So far the whole affair has cost £70, which means we can't go like this for much longer.

Don't fret, cat fans, he lived until 2002.

Monday 22nd July 1996

48 days.

I think Andrew has muddled up the page preferences on my Psion. "The Truth!" issue 42 is full of interesting stuff bu the paginating device only says 6 pages.

Sunday 21st July 1996

49 days.

Domingo is puking bile, grass and food up. He will only eat prawns.

Saturday 20th July 1996

50 days.

Domingo is ill. Today he went to the vet but isn't getting any better.

Friday 19th July 1996

51 days.

Next year, as Mr Clark will have left, a sixth former, Caroline Payne along with Mrs Short (English, not Biology teacher) will be doing drama. Caroline, whom both Tim and Chris fancy played Titania in MND.

Yes! It is now the holidays.

Thursday 18th July 1996

52 days.

Nobody has finished their technology projects so we were told we could finish them next term. But I'm doing IT and Graphics next year.

Wednesday 17th July 1996

53 days.

Sports day so all we had to do was to sit outside.

Tuesday 16th July 1996

54 days!

For September, "The Truth!" being one year old, it is going to get a makeover. It will be smarter and more attractive. Scott brought in "The Best Of Fortean Times" and Marc was forever telling us strange facts.

Tim got lairy through lack of female companionship. Just his hormones meddling with his libido so I am not taking it to heart.

Right. I learnt "libido" from the Adrian Mole books.

Monday 15th July 1996

55 days. Gave in Biology project.

If it's the one I think it was, on pollution, then I managed to work pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (the longest word in the English language) into it, and was immensely proud of the fact. Even though it's a lung disease brought on by volcanic dust, so not strictly anything to do with pollution.

Sunday 14th July 1996

56 days!

Gave my dad razor for his birthday.

Saturday 13th July 1996

My dad has won a competition on the radio. He has won a map, a video and two tickets for the last Viscount flight. It will be my first plane flight on 28th July.

I uploaded this gallery of photos from the flight. You'll notice I missed a day out of my countdown here.

Friday 12th July 1996

57 days.

Went to Nimbus and printed out the project. It looked good, until I discovered some mistakes. Never mind. It took Andrew over 30 minutes to load Windows 95 and PsiWin.

Junior Showcase went well.

And that was the last time I acted. One of the main sketches involved Eddie and Patsy from "Absolutely Fabulous" getting trapped inside the first "Star Wars" film. The two kids playing Eddie and Patsy only came along to start with so that they could do their Eddie and Patsy impression, and wear dresses on stage. They tried to take over from the start, and on the day of the show began ad libbing in the middle of the performance. Right at the end the one playing Patsy referred to the boy playing Saffy as "your bitch daughter" with the headmaster sitting in the front row. That was the last time the drama club was allowed to write their own unscripted play, and a couple of years later the Junior Showcase became a musical show. And, I gather, our beloved drama club no longer even exists.

Thursday 11th July 1996

Mr Harnden taught us this interesting sentence. A man was painting a pub sign for the Coach And Horses. He paints the words too close and a passer-by says: "Shouldn't there be spaces between Coach and And and And and Horses?"

58 days.

I don't know why we were learning that in a German lesson. Probably explains why I couldn't speak any German beyond "Ich bin Jonathan" after two years of taking it, I suppose.

Wednesday 10th July 1996

59 days!

Mr Clark was away at lunch. Agh! Still, we tried our hardest and we think we have got an ending. It involves a bomb and Naiyan cooking it: I suggested Andrew as an alien, eating it.

Tuesday 9th July 1996

60 days to my birthday.

The Junior Showcase is going quite well and I've applied for tickets but we still don't have an ending.

Monday 8th July 1996

2 months to my birthday!

As we are doing the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima in History I have written this poem:

THE BOMB by Jonathan Eyers

Dropped from the height of a lonely plane,
Sun reflecting off it's metal mane,
It falls to a sudden death below,
Careering to each side, to and fro.
When it explodes, all is but silent.
The results will be very violent.
Many brave soldiers, once the hero,
Get blasted away, at Ground Zero.
No-one escapes, all are affected,
All are caught up in the cruel bloodshed.
The heat, the light, the pain is but gone.
Where this happened, the sun never shone.

Well, it's not the worst poem I ever wrote. I particularly like the "The results will be very violent" line. I loled. I've only just noticed that the last sentence contradicts the first, but hey, nobody complained about the contradiction in "The Soldier", did they?

Sunday 7th July 1996

Less than a week to the Junior Showcase and I can't remember that blasted "The Listeners" poem and Michael Rosen's "Longest Journey In The World". What would be disastrous would be if somebody was absent this late.

Saturday 6th July 1996

Andrew came round and for the first 3.5 hours Andrew searched for MegaBall 3 to copy it for me. This is the sequel to the game I originally gave Andrew, who's mum was instantly addicted.

Friday 5th July 1996

Andrew suggested that I do my Biology project on pollution in the Psion and print it out at Nimbus like him. I have around 8 pages of notes so far and I would waste time writing them up, so I think I shall.

Thursday 4th July 1996

We are having drama every day because, in fact, it's not going very well.

Wednesday 3rd July 1996

Braced today and did not face the barrage of questions I was expecting.

Tuesday 2nd July 1996

We had a sequel to the 8th February during Physics. Half the class were playing cricket for the first lesson. We (the six of us left) posed questions to Dr Short and we got onto time travel. When the others got back, he gave us an in depth method/guide on how a drug addict injects himself. Guess what happened!

It was the bit where he describes how an intravenous user draws blood back into the syringe and then injects himself again to make sure he gets all the heroin that did it for me. I gave Simon a poke and was ignored. Eventually someone noticed I seemed to be asleep on my GNB and Dr Short had Andrew and Mark Hammerman carry me out of the class. They were meant to take me to the medical room but they promptly dropped me on the floor outside the door, so Dr Short was left to shoulder the burden himself. Then the bell rang and the corridors filled up with people. Not my finest memory of SHSB, but there were worse.

Monday 1st July 1996

Halfway through the year and the child benefit is out. I have 7 A4 pages of notes for my Biology project. I might print it out on the Nimbuses (Nimbi?).

Yes, the Yob critiscised it. Now it can score but he isn't satisfied. I told him he couldn't do any better and he shut up. Him and Andrew are setting up a Discworld fanzine called "Ook!" It won't last.

Tim has a new haircut which goes up at the front.

Sunday 30th June 1996

I have started to program "Ballz!", an Arkenoid clone on the Psion. So far I have a bouncing ball and a bat. Scott the Yob (from now on to be known as Yob) is bound to critiscise it.

Oh, Friday must have been the day he punched me, then.

Saturday 29th June 1996

Mr Clark was away yesterday and the Junior Showcase is getting nearer and nearer!

Friday 28th June 1996

The new series of "Friends" started at 9:30 with a double bill; Rachel has come to terms that Ross loves someone else

Thursday 27th June 1996

Chris keeps denying accusations that he is only watching Euro 96 to keep in with the crowd. This I deduced was true because he always complains about football when we are force to play it each autumn.

Wednesday 26th June 1996

Everybody seems to find it amazing that I'm not interested in football extravaganza, Euro 96 which is going on presently. As I keep telling them, I don't give a monkeys about sport.

Though I wasn't so vehemently predisposed to loathing it until David Stevens told Scott Reynolds to punch me one afternoon after school at the bike sheds for not liking it, which he did.

Tuesday 25th June 1996

Chris won the chocolate bar in "The Truth!" survey. Andrew idn't have a prize on offer for his.

In Drama we practised Dr Whirls's "World Of Wax". Naiyan is the mad Doctor Whirl who steals lifeforces to become immortal. I am his caretaker who kills him in the end.

The last ever "Cardiac Arrest" and "Flying Soldiers" were screened on BBC.

I only watched "Cardiac Arrest" because I had a little thing going on for Helen Baxendale. Then a couple of years later she turned up in "Friends" as Ross's fiance Emily and I went off her completely.

Monday 24th June 1996

Andrew still believes his SFS is better than "The Truth!" He has to make his family read his just to boost his readership figures.

SFS stood for "Sci-Fi Sensations". I wrote about fifty 'articles' and he still made Marc Tobit deputy editor. As you can see, this is still a sore point and I shall have my violent revenge one day. Oh yes.

Sunday 23rd June 1996

Went to the school fete and met Andrew there. He enjoyed the aquarium but is very tired. I met Mr Frampton gambling on the old penny machines. I won 10 coins.

Saturday 22nd June 1996

Andrew, Glenn and Simon have gone off to Nausicaa in Bologne, France with the Geography Society today.

Friday 21st June 1996

Drama will be on every day next week, there being only 3 weeks exactly until the Junior Showcase.

Thursday 20th June 1996

Joey is in our Technology group now.

In Drama, I am a worm, a mad scientist, a caretaker and a traveller.

I was a classic worm.

Wednesday 19th June 1996

Chris missed a good Physics lesson. Dr Vertically Challenged set up this ball that gave people electric shocks and made their hair stand on end. Andrew, having long hair, was the victim; Dr VC took a photo.

It was a van der Graf generator.

Tuesday 18th June 1996

Joey is no longer in our Physics group; he is in Mr Woodhouse's group with Tim.

Monday 17th June 1996

Mr Clark used to know Robert Lindsay who played Citizen Smith. They both went to the same drama school with Maureen from Coronation Street. You learn something new and interesting every day.

More interesting, though, is that Mr Clark was the production assistant who bought the dead parrot for the infamous Monty Python sketch.

Sunday 16th June 1996

I have now beaten my Patients record. I have won 4 games in a row.

Saturday 15th June 1996

Went to the town with Andrew and Chris. Marc was meant to meet us at 1pm, but didn't show. Chris bought a DS9 video whilst I bought Doctor Who "Death To The Daleks" with Jon Pertwee. Andrew came round to watch it. When the Doctor lands on Exxilon, neither the TARDIS or Daleks' guns work.

This is the one where the Daleks develop glorified pea-shooters for themselves. They then test them using a photograph of the Doctor as a target. It isn't very highly regarded.

Friday 14th June 1996

Chris was in hysterics every time I did this thing with my hands, acting if I was scared. Still, it didn't cheer him up when Court said he would be in group 3 next year.

Andrew had the idea of a spoof quiz show for the sketch.

The amusement value of the hand thing lasted the good part of year, which is surprising seeing as it was just a matter of holding my hands in front of my mouth and tapping my lips with my fingers in sequence rather quickly, whilst looking terrified. It always worked best when used in context, such as behind the back of someone who had just flipped us off.

Thursday 13th June 1996

I only got 28%, as did Tim in Maths exam. Chris got 21%. 28% is the average mark for the year. Luckily I got 8 for the coursework, a mark Andrew is unlikely to get so I should be in group 2, not 3 next year.

Sampson's cigarettes were found by Mr Strickland.

Wednesday 12th June 1996

It's not Tritchen but Twitchen. I think Simon has gone off him a little when he said he thought "Star Wars" was not very good. We finally had a conversation about likes. When we finished about "The X-Files" and started on "Star Trek", Chris couldn't help but join in.

Tuesday 11th June 1996

Chris, Andrew and I are planning a sketch to say good bye to Mr Clark. I thought of a spoof drama lesson.

I am yet to have a proper conversation with Joey; Simon is mollycoddling him.

In Physics, Short grabbed James Ryan by the tie for throwing invisible ink over him.

Monday 10th June 1996

A new boy has come to our class. His name is Jonas Tritchen but he prefers Joey. He has a GCSE in Latin. He doesn't like sport that much. He likes ST:TNG so Chris is happy. He comes from a private school. He used to go to Simon's old school. Chris was slightly jealous because Marc and Simon spent the day fussing around him.

The news was broken to us in Drama; Mr Clark is leaving at the end of the year. Me, Chris and Andrew are a little less likely to be in the next school play with Standen and Valencia.

For Biology we went to Priory Park to catch pond things. Grant Rylands caught a baby roach whilst I caught two ramshorn snails called Dana and Fox.

I have nearly forgiven Tim for those nasty remarks.

I think the reason I got Joey's surname wrong was because it was Scott who told me what it was, and he mispronounced his Rs as Ws. So I naturally assumed when he said Twit- what he meant was Trit-.

Sunday 9th June 1996

Less than three months to my birthday now!

Saturday 8th June 1996

Whilst preparing "The Truth!" I tried to include something for everyone; time travel for Chris, his name for Simon and horoscopes for Tim. Marc and Andrew will read it anyway and Glenn will be attracted to the ghost guide. Scott has already read it.

Friday 7th June 1996

Dan has collapsed at Darlene and David's wedding in "Roseanne"!

I am giving Andrew a trial period as DE.

Thursday 6th June 1996

The last day of exams and we had German and French. Scott was away yesterday so hasn't done his Geography exam. For Games next week we need a white T-Shirt.

Wednesday 5th June 1996

More than half way through exams now. Andrew knows the Psion code so I have developed another no-one will get.

Tim now thinks that anybody who doesn't think about girls and talk about them all the time has homosexual tendencies. I am thinking about replacing him as DE of "The Truth!" with Andrew.

Talking about DEs, Andrew is going to give Marc a trial period as one of SFS. I don't mind now as he can't possibly beat me. I have done about 40 pieces of work but Marc has only done 2 or 3 ...

Tuesday 4th June 1996

Today there was Maths, Art and History. In Art we had to draw a paper aeroplane.

The "Star Trek" movie is now called "First Contact". Not "Resurrection", not "Regeneration" and not "Destinies".

Monday 3rd June 1996

The Music was quite easy, as was RE. Technology was a surprise; no writing, just designing a catapult. Everybody was dreading the French Orals. I don't know how well I did; Sutherland hid his marks card under his desk.

Tim, Andrew and I had an argument about the age of consent. Tim says 14, I say 16 and Andrew says 15. Wishful thinking on their counts.

Sunday 2nd June 1996

Tomorrow I have Music, RE, Technology and French Oral exams.

Saturday 1st June 1996

My mum met Adam Arnold's (St Mary's) mum at the market. He now goes to Westcliff! He didn't get very high in the 11+ so I was surprised.

Friday 31st May 1996

I have found yet another source of blood; a red permanent marker. I also found more tat that could be turned into something better.

Thursday 30th May 1996

I discovered a different deep red paint and it worked wonders on making everything more realistic. The T-Shirt is practically coveed in red paint. I also finished the chestburster (version 2) and painted it sparingly with blood.

Whilst watching "Roseanne", I decorated a pipe and a shoebox with a pen, pencil, sellotape and gauze to create a vent effect.

Wednesday 29th May 1996

I finished painting the flamethrower canister and the chestburster (version 2). I created a new sub-species; Scouters. They use any materials to make a hive. I did this because the only "secreted resin" material I can find is newspaper strips. It looks okay, better round the body.

Misty dead 4 years.

Tuesday 28th May 1996

Went to Alien War with Camilla, Keith and her friend, Anna. Unfortunately, it is closed for refurbishment. Still, I saw Ripley's cryotube and two eggs through the window.

Instead we went to the Emaginator, also at the Trocadero. It is a cross between Cinema 180 and a still rollercoaster. I went on Cosmic Pinball and Olympic Bobsleigh.

To round the day off we went to Forbidden Planet and Haagen Dazs, an ice cream parlour in Leicester Square.

My sister met Anna when they were both living in Hackney and studying nursing at St Bartholomew's Hospital. I remember them discussing the medical inaccuracies in "Doctor Who" the night before and putting me off my ice cream. Alien War never reopened.

Monday 27th May 1996

Joining the bloodied wall is the body. My T-shirt is covered in blood and is stuffed with newspaper, as is my old blue track suit. There is no head as I feel this would just spoil it. I have started a new chestburster just for the body.

Doctor Who was good. Sly McCoy is shot dead whilst taking the Master's remains to Gallifrey. The Master is ressurecte and uses the TARDIS to destroy the world on 31st December 1999. The new Doctor (Paul McGann), Lee Chang and Grace Holloway set out to stop him. The new music is good.

Yes, normal children had posters on their bedroom wall, whilst I had a fake child's corpse of my own creation hanging off my wall with no head and a hole torn in its t-shirt through which a papier mache head popped out, and the whole kit and caboodle was splattered with red paint for blood. Yet nobody called in the psychiatrists, and indeed, visiting relatives were brought in to admire my handiwork.

Sunday 26th May 1996

The APC didn't turn out very well and looked amateurish, so I scrapped that idea. I was given permission to tear a hole in my old Global Hypercolour for the chestburster head. I experimented with different types of blood; food colouring, paint and ready made stage blood. The latter is in short supply and the paint not realistic enough. Food colouring is now sprayed all over my wall.

And some of it's still there. For those who don't remember, Global Hypercolour made t-shirts that changed colour with heat. Mine was blue and went a sort of pinky yellow. They were all the rage in the early nineties and whilst I have never followed fashion, I was sufficiently curious to want one. When they were new you could breathe on them and they'd change to a very pronounced degree. However, the more you washed them, the more the cold colour faded into the warm colour. It was permanently pinky yellow by this point.

Saturday 25th May 1996

I painted the old washing machine box white with emulsion and left it to dry. In the Psion I planned other items for the hive; tomorrow I plan to make a body with exploded chest.

Friday 24th May 1996

Papier mached most of the lifesized chestburster's tail. I also created the base of a facehugger in the same way as I did the chestburster. APC tomorrow!

Thursday 23rd May 1996

After Drama Club was cancelled, me and Ben got talking again about "Aliens". He is planning to turn his room into an alien hive. It reminded me; that is what I wanted to do. I set out differently that I did last summer with that disastrous facehugger. During "Absolutely Fabulous" I made the basic shape of a chestburster out of newspaper and Sellotape. It looks like a cobra.

Or a turd, depending on which angle you looked at it from.

Wednesday 22nd May 1996

Chris is back. He has been away for two days this week. That makes a total of 15 days this school year.

I think I've mentioned before that I kept my own register in the back of my GNB. Chris was always away the most, then me. Of course, that meant I didn't record as absent anyone who was away at the same time as I was.

Tuesday 21st May 1996

I have to wait until the child benefit comes out.

Monday 20th May 1996

When I got home ... I discovered that Jon Pertwee, third Doctor Who and Worzel Gummidge had died of a heart attack on the way to America. Ironic, just before the new Doctor Who airs. He was my favourite Doctor, aswell. I have written an obituary for SFS, and as a mark of respect, I played the Doctor Who theme whilst I meditated tonight. Meditation is the latest craze of Tim's and Scott's.

Sunday 19th May 1996

Maybe I should listen to Deep Throat and "Trust No One".

Deep Throat the gravel voiced government informant from "The X-Files", that is, named after the guy who blew the whistle on Watergate. Nothing to do with the porn movie.

Saturday 18th May 1996

The new Doctor Who is but a week and two days away, but it seems longer.

Friday 17th May 1996

Apparently, Robert has explosives made of fertilizers and a chemistry set at his home. Tim is his chief archaeologist but I suspect he is his chief of staff or major.

According to Tim, Robert's world will feature prizes for supportes and good-deeders. There will be fines and torture for those who don't comply ... His ideas have given me an idea for a new story.

I suspect he was just doing it for the attention, anyway.

Thursday 16th May 1996

Tim Wratislaw has teamed up with old St Mary's pupil, Robert ... who is a supporter of Hitler's Nazi regime and wants to be a dictator. He used to have ambitions about total world domination, but I think he's now settled for Southend.

I've edited his surname to prevent this page cropping up in a Google search, which could be potentially embarrassing were the wrong person to do it.

Wednesday 15th May 1996

Bought the encyclopedia. It has 400 pages. Kahless is not spelt Kah'les as said by Andrew. Marc wrote it in his work for Andrew's new sci-fi mag "Sci-Fi Sensations". I am Deputy Editor.

And I wrote reams and reams of articles for it, but he gave up on the magazine before he'd used them all. Meanwhile "The Truth!" maintained its loyal readership of an almighty three (Andrew, Marc and Tim), and on good weeks, might even have got a fourth reader. One time it even got nine or ten, to my ecstatic delight.

Tuesday 14th May 1996

I went to the town. I bought the X-Files Magazine with Topps cards. Whilst I was there I saw the Star Trek encyclopedia for £12.99.

Monday 13th May 1996

Science papers were quite easy. I don't know what to buy now that the child benefit has been out a week.

The Daily Mail is 100 years old.

Sunday 12th May 1996

Revised for the two science papers tomorrow. Now is it Pressure = Force / Area or Pressure = Force x Area.

Saturday 11th May 1996

I am writing a new story called "Dark Depths". It is a continuation of the Jaws series.

Mike Brody, who was a child in the first film, a teenager in the second, an undersea theme park engineer in the third and a marine biologist in the fourth, makes the big mistake of moving next to the sea with his teenage daughter. I wrote about five hundred words of it before I got bored.

Friday 10th May 1996

After Maths (the lesson), we had Maths (the SAT) and after lunch, Maths (the SAT sequel).

Thursday 9th May 1996

Romeo and Juliet in English SAT. As I finished early, I looked at the MND questions: they were about the Mechanicals and had my, "In this same interlude..." speech.

Wednesday 8th May 1996

Had to write about advert, a story and a passage in English SAT.

Tuesday 7th May 1996

Did some revision for English SAT tomorrow.

Monday 6th May 1996

Being a bank holiday, the post office was closed so my child benefit can't be obtained.

Sunday 5th May 1996

I have now pinned up many pictures on my noticeboard.

All of which are gone now, but there's still a piece of paper at the bottom that has my high scores for "Sonic The Hedgehog" on the Sega Master System, which pre-dated these pictures. Actually, there's still a rehearsal schedule for "The Rose Of Eyam" underneath all the layers that have accumulated as well. The question is: am I now going to remove these decade-plus old pieces of paper that ceased to need to be up there long ago?

Saturday 4th May 1996

Knowing Scott, he'll twig ...

Friday 3rd May 1996

Marc and I nearly completed "Mind Maze" on the Nimbus.

For the 32nd issue of "The Truth!" I wrote about self-confessed vampires. Scott's mind works in an interesting way. He models his life on supernatural characters. This has all been started by "Fright Night" being screened on Anglia this Wednesday.

Thursday 2nd May 1996

I don't know what it is about May, but this time 2 years back, Scott was obsessed with being a vampire. Now he is going through the same phase again. Only this time, he doesn't want me involved. That means I don't have to sleep in a box.

Wednesday 1st May 1996

Marc, who wasn't bothered yesterday wouldn't let the case of Andrew rest to day. Now noone is bothered, but they won't forget.

I didn't hand my German book in at registration so tried to hand it in at break and lunch. It was only when I stopped looking for Mr Harnden did I find him afterschool.

Tuesday 30th April 1996

Chris has got £80, the USS Voyager and mine and Marc's figures. He may buy some Voyager figures. I told him to go to Forbidden Planet first.

Andrew wrote profiles of everybody in my Psion and I showed those concerned. Everybody forgot their differences and joined forces to get Andrew. Every profile contained insults.

Andrew had lied to Marc and tried to convince others that I had written the profiles. Andrew stayed in Nimbus until registration. Hard evidence!

Monday 29th April 1996

I hate Picard.

Sunday 28th April 1996

Chris' room is set out as follows. This is a new feature in my journal; diagrams.

MM stands for Micro Machines.

That was also the last diagram I drew.

Saturday 27th April 1996

Chris loved the Romulan and had fun introducing it to his other figures. He also got £24. Marc got him La Forge, which he has already got. But he was in a "Generations" uniform. The new "Star Trek" film has changed name again! It was "Ressurections", then "Regenerations" and now "Destinies" with Sisko waving Worf goodbye from DS9.

The pool was warm. For the first hour, David, Scott and I had fun on a float, until it was removed. Tim annoyed me by calling me "Stick", to the amusement of Chris' Westcliff-attending friend, David Simmons. Then I did some swimming, something Andrew cannot do well.

At home we had gateau, snacks, chips and pizza. We also saw Chris' "Star Trek" collection. His USS Enterprise has sounds. His Klingon Bird Of Prey was good. Me and David (Simmons) had an intergalactic fight with them. He has almost all the micromachines and some of the figures, including; Beverley, Picard, Rom, Borg, Kirk, Wesley, La Forge, Riker W, Riker T, Guinan, O'Brien, Worf, Gowron and now a Romulan. He also has a set of books.

Good for Chris. Good day.

Yes, it was, and as of writing, the last time I went swimming. It was a little ripe of Tim to call me "Stick" given that he was practically as thin as I was, which is what annoyed me.

Friday 26th April 1996

I gave Chris some more clues, about the packaging. And unfortunately, he guessed correctly. So I lied to him by saying I'd been stringing him along all the time. He now thinks I've got him Lwaxana Troi.

Thursday 25th April 1996

I have given Chris some clues; a Cardassian, a Kazon, Neelix or an alien in Starfleet. He he!

Wednesday 24th 1996

Chris asked me every 30 seconds which figure I had got him, so, as one of my first tips states, I kept it from him. To make him even more eager I told everybody else but Scott and Glenn.

Tuesday 23rd April 1996

Went to the Natural History Museum, but first to Forbidden Planet. There was a life size Yoda (Star Wars) there that my mum thought was a Gremlin. It was £320. I found a huge book that Chris has been going on about for ages. It only costs £12.99 and has 700+ pages. It is called the Star Trek Encyclopedia. I bought Chris a Romulan figure for £4.99.

Tip TBA+8:- Flattery gets you everywhere.

Monday 22nd April 1996

Chris hasn't changed his mind.

Sunday 21st April 1996

I have been thinking up things to say ... to Chris if he changes his mind and doesn't invite me.

Tip TBA+7:- Plan and be merry.

Saturday 20th April 1996

I have been invited to Chris' birthday party next Saturday. As it is a day off on Tuesday, I will go to Forbidden Planet and buy him a figure. I'll get him to write a list of the one's he wants.

Friday 19th April 1996

The continuation...

"This base is equipped with 17 warheads. Enough to eliminate 11% of this world."

"Fight destruction with destruction. War with war. Death with death."

The shabbily dressed man in the corner, weary through lack of sleep stepped in. "They don't die."

"You mean They can't be destroyed?" He hesitated. "Why am I talking to you anyway; you created the damn things."

"They don't die. But They can be destroyed. Their vocabulary doesn't contain the definitions of peace, war and death. It wasn't required for it's purpose." He didn't seem to mind being insulted.

"What was it's purpose? Tell us again."

"To control activities that took time for us."

"Which was basically everything!" Being a man of the church, he resisted hitting the man.

"It wasn't to go much further than an arcade building and shopping plaza."

"But you gave it access to telecommunications? You bastard!"

"It was supposed to act as a perfect business partner. An answering machine. A banker. Solicitor. It could program itself."

"And other machines."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You guess so? Do you know what you've done? You've created a machine that is capable of making other machines revolt, kill, destroy. It is naturally a powermonger. It thinks. It remembers. It's peace will only be settled when it has total control. Control which you helped give it. In 30 hours, that machine will discover the thirty digit code required to launch 27 nuclear warheads at all the major cities of the world. In one minute, all civilisation will be reduced to this base. Damn you!"

'Being a man of the church, he resisted hitting the man' must be one of the worst lines I've ever written. I'm not sure whether I meant twenty seven warheads each, or twenty seven warheads in total. Twenty seven warheads total wouldn't be enough to kill everyone in the UK, let alone all of civilisation, whereas there wouldn't be much point aiming twenty seven warheads at the same city, because the first would be sufficient. It would also take half an hour for American Minuteman missiles to reach Russia, and the Russian equivalents to reach America, not one minute. This is all I wrote of this story, which was basically "Terminator 2" redux. Note that I pre-empted the "Terminator 3" plot of machines reprogramming machines to revolt by several years.

Thursday 18th April 1996

Sam Smith, a fairy in MND tripped on a bag handle and cracked his head open in the East End eating area at lunch. He passed out and Mrs Mulinder rushed him to hospital with an ice pack.

I am planning a new story called "Armageddon Days" in which machines launch 27 nuclear missiles at all the major cities. The explosion, fire, fallout and radiation cloud will destroy 89% of the world. Here is a taster: the selected group (military, scientists, broadcaster, church minister etc.) have collected in a secret shelter. Civilians trying to get in have just been shot dead.

"Why did you order them to be shot?" the reverand demanded, slamming the desk.

"Our top priority is to protect key peronel from a nuclear attack so that they can rebuild society afterwards." The general replied, secrets had no meaning now.

"What ethics are in that?"

"None at all. We feel that in a world at the brink of collapse due to our creation, ethics would just get in the way."

"In other words, you're trying to save yourselves. For what? If Kent is correct, there will be nothing to rebuild."

"Everything will be destroyed. There's plenty to rebuild from nothing."

"But what with? Like you said, everything will be destroyed. 11% isn't going to be easy to find."

"That is why we have the country's best mathematicians down here to work out which 89% of the world will be destroyed. All we have to do is move our operation to that area, as I expect They have already done."

"If they're there, how do you expect us to survive there aswell?"

"It's not a question of survival. It's a question of destruction."

"What?"

Well, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever written. I once wrote a "Jaws" story in which I wrote 'DD-DD-DD' when the shark was nearby to replicate John Williams's famous "Jaws" theme. Actually, that was probably better than this one too.

Wednesday 17th April 1996

Had dinner at Carnavon Restaurant at the college near the Doctor's. It was okay, for food cooked by students.

Tuesday 16th April 1996

Chris is thinking about lending me the DS9 series 4 episode, "Way Of The Warrior". Talking of Star Trek, I have now programmed over 700 words into Star Trek hangman. Everybody wants a part in Andrew's sci-fi magazine. Scott is still acting like a yob; being beastly to everyone.

Tip TBA+6:- Hatred and purpose gets you what you want.

In other words, he was just being beastly to me.

Monday 15th April 1996

Scott thinks his voice is breaking. I have to admit it is a bit deeper and croakier than usual. And it does break into a squeak every now and then. He doesn't have a sore throat; which Andrew says is a sign. We'll wait and see what happens. Wouldn't he be gutted if it just turned out to be a cold. Ha! Remember tip TBA!

I have no idea when my voice broke, so can only assume it was a gradual process that I didn't notice was happening. Presumably it was before I went into my very self-aware, self-conscious phase a year or so from this point. I only really noticed I sounded different when I listened again to a sample I had recorded of myself onto the computer in year eight saying "Jonathan is better than Andrew, yeahhh" and I sounded like a girl, whilst the sample I had recorded of Andrew saying "Hello, Mr Sound Sampler, how are you?" at the same time didn't sound like a girl. I actually still have the tape cassette we used to record those samples, and the recordings are still on it. And I still sound like a girl.

Sunday 14th April 1996

I finished the Biology questions and watched some of "The Addams Family". My mum videoed the rest.

Saturday 13th April 1996

Nothing much happened.

Friday 12th April 1996

I've still got those questions for Physics and Biology to finish. According to others they are difficult. And take time.

I went to have my ears syringed to clean them up, but the machine broke, ending up squirting water up the wall. I have to return next Friday.

Which was, as of writing, the last time I went to the doctor.

Thursday 11th April 1996

In the afternoon, having received the child benefit, I went to the town. I got a cat birthday card for my mum in WHSmiths. Whilst in Smiths, I saw outside police holding a man to a police car whilst one officer frisked him. He was swearing, so one officer shoved his head onto the car roof. Still protesting, 4-6 officers bundled him into the car and drove off. His lady-friend dissapeared into WHSmiths and the crowd dispersed.

Tip TBA+5:- Crime pays, but only the police.

Wednesday 10th April 1996

At Andrew's I played "Alien Breed 3D", his Psion programs and another "Aliens" clone. This time we chased each other round the house with a foam projectile gun from "Ghostbusters".

Andrew said things about Chris, which I'll tell Chris next term. Chris will get uppity and tell everybody about his plans for Andrew. But he'll never act on any of them.

Tip TBA+4:- Mouth AND Motivation.

Tuesday 9th April 1996

The words in my "Star Trek Hangman" were deleted but now I have reprogrammed them so that there are now 480 words. I am going to Andrew's tomorrow.

Thank goodness, else I would have had to have been mean, wouldn't I?

Monday 8th April 1996

Now I have seen every episode of "The X-Files" season 1 and 2. The animated series of "Star Trek" is being shown. It wasn't on today.

Sunday 7th April 1996

I got a 12 pack Cadbury's Creme Eggs and a Quality Street egg from my parents. A 6 pack from Mr Tuck. £3 and a Humpty Dumpty egg from Aunty Wynn.

Tip TBA+3:- Greed and imagination make perfection.

Well, at least I was already beginning to recognise that imagination had some importance.

Saturday 6th April 1996

Tip TBA+2:- Imagination is the sign of intelligence.

Friday 5th April 1996

If Andrew doesn't invite me round I'll tell everybody that he likes his Psion more than his friends.

Tip TBA+1:- Extreme exageration is better than lying.

Thursday 4th April 1996

Knowing how much Chris doesn't like not being invited to others birthdays, if I am not invited to his, he will be the only one not coming to mine.

Tip (number tba): Treat spite with spite.

Wednesday 3rd April 1996

Chris wanted to go to the 3.45 performance of "Toy Story" but Andrew to 1.05. Chris, Simon, Paul Thorogood and I decided on the first choice.

We went to the Cartoon Shop (I bought STM with posters), Electronics Boutique (saw an excellent demo of the "Alien Trilogy") and MacDonalds (I risked a Big Mac).

The film was good. Woody, the cowboy is jealous when Buzz Lightyear, the action figure becomes favourite toy. So much that he knocks him out of a window. Woody goes after Buzz who thinks he is real. They fail to get home at a pizza parlour and are found by a kid who straps them to fireworks. They escape, but find out Andy (their owner) is moving. Learning he is only a toy, Buzz stops co-operating. But Woody uses a rocket and a remote controlled car to get them to Andy. Buzz finds he can fly, after a little help from a firework. Everybody lives happily ever after... etc. etc.

Tuesday 2nd April 1996

Andrew's Psion has 512k. It can format disks with little batteries used whilst mine takes up 1/5 the power available. It also has a recording feature. I gave him my revised X-Files theme. But he didn't get a programming manual. Ha ha!

His alarms include a fanfare and church bells. I tried to record a yawn and set it to wake him up at 7.00am but he found and deleted it.

Monday 1st April 1996

When I got up I was instructed Andrew needed to speak to me urgently. I phoned him up. How gullible and forgetful I am sometimes. I got my mum back by telling her Domingo had gone on a mass puking spree.

Andrew tomorrow. Cinema Wednesday.

Sunday 31st March 1996

The film was good. It had a boy in 60's Aussie-land. His long time friend (a girl) get's pregnant by another boy who then goes on the run and dies. The director must love a song called "Lark Ascending", as when I had 888 subtitles on the screen, this song appeared every other minute.

Went to bed at 1.45am.

"The Lark Ascending" is, as I later discovered, a rather famous piece by Vaughn Williams, not just part of the film's score. It was used so much in the film that even when I hear it now it reminds me of the movie, which hasn't been shown since. I gather there was a sequel starring a very young Nicole Kidman and a lot of the future cast of "Home And Away". I've never seen it.

Saturday 30th March 1996

There is a "Stand By Me" clone on tomorrow called "The Year My Voice Broke". It is at 11.55pm but as the clocks will go forward, it'll seem like 10.55.

Andrew is coming around on Tuesday.

Friday 29th March 1996

The last day! Chris was perfectly happy that I was the only member of 9T not invited to Glenn's (excluding AC - Now expelled). I don't really mind. This kind of thing probably happens to Fox Mulder all the time. It comes with having the reptuation of being spooky.

I had a reputation for many things, but being spooky wasn't one of them. That was just damage limitation.

Thursday 28th March 1996

Andrew is getting his Psion tomorrow. Hypnotist Oliver Chadwick is taking him.

Chris was miffed that Glenn hadn't invited him to his birthday. I told him that Glenn will be too on April 29th.

I have a vague memory of hearing the perhaps legendary story of how that guy allegedly hypnotised Scott over the phone once.

Wednesday 27th March 1996

My speech on my plans for the evening, although not planned, went better than Andrew's attempt, in French. In Art, Ms McMahon liked my strange doodle. Scott wanted to know what the point was. We had a big discussion about "The Truth!" A new addition will be legends. I told everybody not to expect everything they say to be acted upon.

Marc tried to convince people not to read "The Truth!" but he didn't do a very good job.

1 day, and Graham still hasn't fully paid me back. Andrew says he is getting his Psion tomorrow. Well, we'll see. I got him to say "sex" on the phone. Wait until everybody hears about this! He is writing many words on Scribble for "The Truth!" DOT, which isn't progressing much lately.

Tuesday 26th March 1996

How about this signature: Jonathan Eyers. I'm using my new smoooooooth pen.

2 days. Andrew has admitted he's wrong.

That signature pioneered the long looped letter J that I still use, but turned the S of Eyers into a wide sweeping zigzag beneath the Y.

Monday 25th March 1996

Tim didn't do Games as he has torn open his arm and had 7 stitches in it. He is the new "The Truth!" Deputy Editor. According to him, their science teacher, Mr Woodhouse (Will T Riker lookalike) lets them smoke home-made cigarettes in class. Irresponsible man!!! I checked with others and it's true!

Andrew thinks "The Truth!" is decreasing in popularity. Actually, it's increasing. 5 people have read it so far and not everybody who wants to has yet.

3 days.

A recurring theme and point of contention between Tim and I first appears here, which is probably one of several contributory factors as to why we haven't spoken since we left school. I might censor some of the stuff I wrote about a year after this. I don't know. I'll decide when we get there. The lesson I would have been best to learn is that you don't have to agree with people on everything all the time to still be friends. But instead I was focused on Pythagoras and even twelve bar blues, because those were the things the teachers at the school insisted were important things to learn. As far as I can remember, Tim sustained that injury climbing over some railings, and he fell, spearing his arm on the point of one railing. Chris and I joked for the next few weeks that he had got it trying to escape from the zoo, a joke which we wore out, and then kept on flogging.

Sunday 24th March 1996

4 days.

At 4.10 this afternoon there were naked ladies trotting about in a renactment of Columbus' voyage to discover America (on TV).

Saturday 23rd March 1996

Chris might be lending "Way of the Warrior" to me next week. Cobbe may be expelled, after attacking somebody with a hockey stick.

5 days.

There has been another CJD/BSE scare. McDonald's burgers are now being made with Dutch beef.

And you can bet Mad Cow Disease made it into "The Truth!" so that I could put both CJD and BSE into the glossary. CJD = Creutzveld Jacob Disease. BSE = Bovine Spongiform Encephalitis. Those are from memory, so may be wrong.

Friday 22nd March 1996

6 days. I now have £13.75. Graham still hasn't paid me. I keep picking up pennies off the floor.

Tip TBA: Pick up a penny, pick up a pound.

Thursday 21st March 1996

Marc is organising a trip to see the first computer-generated movie "Toy Story" at Easter.

And: "Byr lakin, a parlous fear", "Will not the ladies be afeared of the lion", "Therefore another prologue must be written that says he's not a lion", "You cannot bring in a wall, what say you, Bottom?"

Wednesday 20th March 1996

Now, how did Snout's line's go: "Robin Starveling!" "Thisbe's Mother" "Here Peter Quince" etc.

The team we played today cheated lie hell. It included Hugh Weeks, Derek Thomas and somebody who looks like Paul Eyre. I told Marc to collapse if they hacked him. He did it quite well; comes through practice, I suppose. The Trojan prefect let them get away with it.

Tuesday 19th March 1996

Scott and Chris were back, but Scott didn't have his kit. Still, the game was good with Marc, Chris, Andrew, Simon and myself.

The next school play is probably going to be "Romeo And Juliet". I think I might try for Gregory. Mr Clark has invited MND people to the Royal Shakespeare Company's version of MND. It would be nice to see someone else play Snout.

I hired out "The X-Files" to Graham and Marc for 25p each. I have G's English BB in case he refuses to pay.

The cable for the video doesn't make it work. Damn!

Shane has been in a motorbike accident in "Home And Away".

I don't remember what the school play was in 1997, if there even was one. I certainly wasn't in it. Mr Clark left at the end of year nine, and with him went all of my pretensions to being a thespian. Our beloved drama club languished in the hands of an unprepared sixth former called Caroline Payne, who had played Titania in "A Midsummer Night's Dream", and was the alleged object of many a fourth year's desires. No names named, of course. And more on my estrangement to all things dramatic when we actually get there.

Monday 18th March 1996

Neither Scott nor Chris were there today. Tomorrow, apparently, there is house hockey. My sister needs the lead for her's and Keith's video so she is going to the town to buy another one. She says she'll drop it round tomorrow.

Sunday 17th March 1996

I now have a video recorder in my posession. It is our old one from 1987. Silly girl that she is, my sister forgot the lead required to connect it to the television and aerial. I'll have to wait until tomorrow.

Saturday 16th March 1996

One of those killed at Dunblane was the killer.

I am stuck for words. I only have 430. I am now scouring every relevant book.

I have bought a plant for my mum; tomorrow it's Mother's Day.

Friday 15th March 1996

I may sell the formulae for the Maths coursework to Chris if he let's me borrow DS9 "Way Of The Warrior". I have had less time than he has but I've nearly finished whilst he hasn't.

In music, Mr Wade wasn't there. For some of the first period, we watched a verbal fight between Cobbe and Mr Newsham. AC called RN "Roger". RN said to AC "At least I don't have acne and look like a girl."

The dictionary has 390 words.

Thursday 14th March 1996

Back today, although I can't hear very well. Mr Sutherland got very lairy today because Scott hadn't put much effort into his essay.

Wednesday 13th March 1996

Tomorrow maybe. I wonder if Tim Wratislaw will buy the book. He has entered "The Truth!" compo, and him only.

16 children (5-6 years old) have been shot dead in Dunblane, Scotland.

Being ill, I was at home watching television and I remember the newsflash. I also remember the September 11th newsflash and the Terry Waite's release newsflash, though the latter mainly because I didn't understand why they were interrupting normal programming to show footage of a smiling bearded man getting off a plane.

Tuesday 12th March 1996

Still away. Added more words to "Dictionary".

Monday 11th March 1996

Found 5p, but that's only £2.25. The child benefit is out today. Maybe I'll hire out "The Unopened File" to Andrew, Graham and Marc for 50p a night. Went to the Doctor's. I got Amoxycillin. It tastes like bananas. I am going back on Wednesday.

Sunday 10th March 1996

Added some more to the new "The Truth!" publication, "Dictionary Of Terms".

I have now seen the "Star Trek - Voyager" video TV advert aswell as "Star Trek - DS9: Way Of The Warrior". Chris has that but won't hire it out.

1 day!

Watched "Spies Like Us" with Chevy Chase and Dan Akyroyd.

At the end of "The Truth!" each issue I included a glossary. UFO was defined every week. Most of the terms were self-explanatory like that, but other times, I was just showing off that I knew what DDT and LSD stood for. The Dictionary of Terms was essentially an encyclopedia version of that glossary. I started reading the Oxford English Dictionary to find more words. I got bored reading from the front when I got to the letter E so started reading from the back instead. I got as far as "soggy" under the letter S. I know because the corners of those pages are still folded over. DDT = dichloro diphenyl trichloroethane. LSD = lysergic acid diethylamide. And that's from memory (so I might be wrong).

Saturday 9th March 1996

Fourth performance = Good sized audience. Quite funny to them. I got everybody but 3 stars to sign my programme. I signed others. There were only 7 free ice cream and I got one. Andrew said he got one. He didn't.

The Mechanicals were clapped basically after every joke, the fairies weren't. Andrew says the audience will remember him because his is the biggest character. Then he told Chris he didn't say that.

Was taken home by hypnotist Oliver Chadwick. He is related to the Lockwoods down my road. 2 days!

John Kelly, who played lead Mechanical Peter Quince, played the main role of Mompesson in the previous year's school play, "The Roses Of Eyam". When I signed his programme for "A Midsummer Night's Dream" I pithily added "I preferred you as Mompesson", which probably garnered more laughs than my performance on stage ever did. When Chris signed my programme he wrote "I preferred you as a non-speaking character". That didn't get as many laughs.

Friday 8th March 1996

Third performance = Hude audience! They thought it was hilarious! 40 girls from Westcliff High were there. Richard Skinner (Bottom) played Snout yesterday. 3 days! No school for me.

The pinnacle display of my acting talents came during one scene in which Tim Wratislaw dropped his ear trumpet. The way Mr Clark had decided to do the Mechanicals was for Snout and Starveling to be a pair of old men. I, one Snout by name, would be half blind, and Starveling would be half deaf. During the middle of a scene, Tim dropped Starveling's ear trumpet and it was nearer me, so he gave me an in-character poke. In a masterful (hohum) bit of ad-libbing I stayed in character to pick it up, holding my poor old back and feeling across the stage like I couldn't see it. Oh yes, I did Shakespeare proud.

Thursday 7th March

Had a really bad headache, sore throat and stomach so missed school and the performance. 4 days!

Wednesday 6th March 1996

First performance = Tiny audience. The jokes to them were as funny as a funeral. 5 days!

One of Tim's lines as Starveling (pretending to be the moon in the interlude) was "This lanthorn doth the horned moon present", with a grave accent over the e of 'horned' to give it the extra syllable to maintain the meter (i.e. it's pronounced "hor-ned"). Of course, we being fourteen at the time, we quickly started calling Tim the 'Horny Moon'.

Tuesday 5th March 1996

6 days! And the first performance is tomorrow.

Monday 4th March 1996

7 days! Marc has been fired.

Sunday 3rd March 1996

Went to the school for a rehearsal. I have 8 days until the child benefit comes out.

Saturday 2nd March 1996

"Jumanji" was good. A boy finds a game and rolls the dice. He is then sucked into the board, leaving the girl he was playing with alone. 26 years later the game is played again and the boy (now a man) is released. As is a horde of rampaging animals, killer plants, mischievious monkeys and other magical powers. The game is completed and everything goes away. The game is dumped and ends up in France.

Friday 1st March 1996

Like all days this week rehearsals after school have lasted until 5:30. But today, only musical cues were paid attention to, so we could all go home early. I waited 1/2 an hour in the cold with only a bag of shelled roasted peanuts to keep me company.

Chris has organised a trip to see "Jumanji" starring Robin Williams tomorrow.

Oh yes, I had a wonderful conversation with that bag of shelled roasted peanuts. Great company.

Thursday 29th February 1996

As it is a leap year, my watch hasn't recorded it. So my watch reads: TH 3:1 instead of TH 2:29.

Wednesday 28th February 1996

Our MND costmes are: Chris - Black/Gold dress. Tim - Corduroys. Me - Grotty shell-suit.

Yes, there are photos of this. And unfortunately some of them were posted around the school for a while afterwards. However, they were always group shots of all the Mechanicals, and I suspect people were more amused by Chris's costume, somehow.

Tuesday 27th February 1996

The countdown has begun. 13 days until the child benefit.

The reason I kept writing about this is because it was my sole source of money. I used to get a large proportion of it as pocket money each month, and seeing as I actually had things I wanted to buy now that cost more than 33p, it always used to be completely gone within a few days of my having got it.

Monday 26th February 1996

We have been clearing out my room for a week now; but it hasn't changed much. I am sleeping in the spare room.

Tim Wratislaw entered the competition with his experiences with 'the Force' from Star Wars. He believes he could stop the movement of posters in the wind. I said that was psychokinesis. He demonstrated to me, and Marc still remained sceptical. I admit it requires more investigation. I prepared adequate research material this evening.

Which his dad later found, which must have been embarrassing.

Sunday 25th February 1996

The next child benefit isn't out until 11th March. Maybe I could sell the rest of those Star Wars figures and the Doctor Who annuals I have (1986 & 1993) to the Time Tunnel. Or the old microscope and the dolls my mum found in a cupboard.

Saturday 24th February 1996

Andrew came round and played "Hangman - Star Trek Edition" which I programmed for the Psion. I added a percentage function; he's jealous.

I didn't program it. I simply took his original code and changed the words that could come up. Though the percentage thing was of my own devising. You had a set number of 'lives', which meant you could fail to get one word without losing the game. I remember you could also gain lives somehow. However, once you ran out of them, you were given a rank (admiral, captain, etc) based on the percentage you got right.

Friday 23rd February 1996

Nobody has entered "The Truth!" 1996 super competition yet. They have to write 100 words on one aspect of UXP. The prize is a journalist's job. "The Truth!" is now 6 months old.

Thursday 22nd February 1996

Oh, at last! Take That have split. And Pulp person Jarvis Cocker assaulted three children by charging on during Michael Jackson's act at the Brits.

Well, at least we had a decade without them.

Wednesday 21st February 1996

I went to the school to practice MND. Chris, Marc and Tim were there. When I phoned Andrew to find out why, he said he was preparing for Scott's Megazone trip. Only Scott thinks I am bothered that I wasn't invited. If it gives him perverse pleasure, that's upto him. Evil Andrew has been invited round Evil Glenn's. I have to wait until Saturday!

How that's for dedication? I went to school during half term to rehearse the school play. Actually, those times were the best. We had the run of the school and didn't have to wear school uniform, and because I was only a subsidiary character, it was more of a social occasion interrupted by a half hour of 'acting'.

Tuesday 20th February 1996

That horrible dentist Mulryan thinks I need orthidontic treatment. What does he know? He hardly looks older than 15.

I went to the cartoon shop but didn't find the "X-Files" magazine. Instead I bought the "Star Trek Monthly" issue 12.

Monday 19th February 1996

An inch of snow and ice is covering the ground.

I have a dentist appointment with that nice Mr Mulryan tomorrow.

Sunday 18th February 1996

We're supposed to be getting heavy snow soon; I doubt it.

A bus has been blown up by the IRA. 10 people were involved. The death was the bomber. Now we know what will fill up the papers this coming week.

Saturday 17th February 1996

I still haven't got this month's "X-Files" magazine.

Friday 16th February 1996

It's the end of half term.

Thursday 15th February 1996

Chris is back. We had the j word at the beginning of technology. Mr Tkacziw announced "BCG II - The Sequel" to happen in German, but 9E went then. At 11.39am, we went to the hall. AGGHHHhhhhhhh! I was first so they could observe me for any bad reactions. I went behind the screen and sat down.

A brown nurse rolled up my sleeve, observed that my skin hadn't reacted and jammed in this thin syringe. 10 seconds later it was over - if not painful. Only Suresh and Tom Blowers didn't have to have it.

For some reason I didn't feel faint at all, even though it was a proper hypodermic syringe this time instead of that Pritt-Stick stapler thing. Of course, when Mr Brooking asked if I felt okay, I saw the opportunity to get another afternoon of school, so told him I was feeling faint again. Didn't work.

Wednesday 14th February 1996

I played "Hangman", Andrew's latest game on the Psion; it's not bad.

Tuesday 13th February 1996

I am in a bad mood.

Monday 12th February 1996

The child benefit after a long weekend of waiting.

Sunday 11th February 1996

That skin hasn't come up in bumps! The j word will probably be on Thursday.

Saturday 10th February 1996

IRA Ceasefire stopped.

Friday 9th February 1996

Lying in bed at home.

Thursday 8th February 1996

Everybody was dreading today - even Cobbe and Duprey. We were surprised that Chris turned up. Simon was going on and on about how he had the biggest phobia of needles ever.

We were in Technology when Leor Franks, the prefect arrived with a girl. They led us out to the hall where there were three medical people fussing around. A screen on my eye-level failed to hide the 'victim' from where we arrived from. When we arrived, Tim Wratislaw was leaving. We all sat down in alphabetical order and were given medical cards. People dissapeared and finally I was next...

I walked behind the screen and sat down. They asked me about 1983 when I had a bad reaction to the measles jab (I hate that word). I watched as the lady who looked like Morn from Star Trek - Deep Space Nine, used a syringe drop a gel blob onto my arm. Using this thing that looked like a Pritt-Stick crossed with a stapler she wiped it around and pressed the top. The 6 needles went in and I didn't feel it! I got up and returned to Technology.

Sean Doggett was getting very worried that he had TB because his skin was reacting. On returning to work, I felt a bit giddy. I sat down and my ears and throat seized up. I got a terrible head-ache and couldn't see. I put my head down and everything went blank...

The next thing I knew, Mr Tenant was instructing Andrew to take me to the medical room. There I laid with my feet held up for several hours before Mr Brooking instructed me I was going home at 2.20.

Just typing that up was enough to make me feel a little light-headed. Not the best day in school ever, compounded by Mr Brooking coming in when I was lying down in the medical room and saying, "I didn't know you were such a wimp, Eyers". He might have been joking. Well, he was a Games teacher. The suspension dots here were from the original entry. I haven't cut anything embarrassing.

Wednesday 7th February 1996

There is a "Star Trek" documentary on Radio 4 this Saturday. Also "Doctor Who" on Radio 2.

This was the last entry in my third diary, the appropriately pink exercise book I was using for Music in the second year, but in which I only wrote a few pages. The next diary I used was a mammoth fifty year old leather bound hardback book my dad used as a stamp album when he was a youngster. I had long since plundered the stamps when I went through that phase, and for the next eighteen months I wrote around his headings and the bits of stamp adhesive I couldn't get off the page. I never finished the book, switching over to a password protected Word file on our new PC in September 1997.

Tuesday 6th February 1996

AGHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! We are having the BCG skin test on Thursday.

FYI, the BCG is the tuberculosis vaccination.

Monday 5th February 1996

Scott thinks he's been circumcised. I wonder if he knows what it means.

Sunday 4th February 1996

The ticket form for MND arrived.

Saturday 3rd February 1996

Should I not feature insignificant days?

In about a year's time, that's the approach I started to take. First I started doing a weekly summary every Sunday, then when I switched over to a computer file, only whenever I felt like it. Sometimes it went a couple of months without an entry. And of course, my definition of what was significant enough to write about might have differed from others'.

Friday 2nd February 1996

I am top of the charts in Chris' eyes. Wants to know all about the exhibition. Sat together in English.

Which became a regular thing for the next four years. See 25th January.

Thursday 1st February 1996

Went to ST exhibition. Chris will be pleased; had Enterprise D bridge.

Actually it was the bridge from the original 1960s series, but I wasn't as well acquainted with "Star Trek" as I later became so couldn't tell the difference.

Wednesday 31st January 1996

Evil Andrew invited Glenn tomorrow and not me.

Tuesday 30th January 1996

Because he has to wear a dress in MND.

Chris played Flute. In the play-within-a-play the Mechanicals put on for the wedding at the end, Flute plays Thisbe, the Juliet to Pyramus's Romeo. For this Chris had to wear a dress, which wasn't the first time he'd done so, having worn one for the Junior Showcase in the first year. Our amusement lessened when Mrs Mulinder found costumes for Tim and I which, in keeping with the deliberately anachronistic trashy style of the production, consisted of very dodgy corduroys for him and the most hideous yellow shellsuit for me.

Monday 29th January 1996

Nearly learnt all lines. Tim and I teasing Chris.

Sunday 28th January 1996

Mulder is visiting TLG team in "Leviathan".

My story was basically a standard "X-Files" tale, but told from the perspective of the Lone Gunmen characters. It was about people disappearing and a legend about a lake monster turning out to be true. Why the Lone Gunmen would get involved never really occurred to me; they didn't investigate unexplained phenomena, they investigated government conspiracies.

Saturday 27th January 1996

Running out of space. Have to limit entries.

Friday 26th January 1996

The weekend has arrived again! House Credit for Physics.

Thursday 25th January 1996

Mr Clark held auditions for a mechanical (Starveling) because Matthew Baynton had pulled out. Tim Wratislaw and Andrew battled for the part but Tim got it. We have to learn ALL lines by 1st February.

Aha, the trinity is complete. You'll notice a lot more references to Chris and Tim from now on. It's not that we weren't friends before, but we all became closer after this, initially because of appearing together as the Mechanicals in "A Midsummer Night's Dream", then later because we were mostly in the same classes throughout Years 10 and 11.

Wednesday 24th January 1996

I should be going to the science museum and the Star Trek exhibition in London next Thursday as it is a non-pupil day.

Tuesday 23rd January 1996

Scott said it was only the 9th episode whilst it was the 20th.

Monday 22nd January 1996

"The Lone Gunmen" were in "The X-Files - Fearful Symmetry".

Sunday 21st January 1996

The Art project is due in soon. Perhaps the end of this week or the start of the next.

Saturday 20th January 1996

Apparently, somebody has predicted snow this week. Sure!

Friday 19th January 1996

I left the quiz early, having answered all my questions right. Then Ryan and Rylands thumped me in the nose (accidently) during a fight between them. Andrew thought I was in a bad mood because I didn't win the quiz.

Thursday 18th January 1996

I am now writing a new set of stories. "The X-Files: The Lone Gunmen Mysteries: Leviathan", sees the Lone Gunmen team as main characters.

Years after I started writing this story (which I never finished), the Lone Gunmen characters (Byers, Langly and Frohike) got their own spin-off TV show. It lasted less than a season before being cancelled so never made it to UK screens.

Wednesday 17th January 1996

A questionnaire will be coming out with next week's "The Truth!"

Tuesday 16th January 1996

"The X-Files" was good. "Dod kalm" saw Mulders & Scully travel to Norway and age rapidly. During it, I ate a whole vanilla whip.

That remains one of my favourite episodes. It starts with a ship being abandoned in mist, and when a lifeboat is found, nobody in it is younger than ninety. Mulder and Scully find the ghost ship, and Mulder expects a timewarp or something. It turns out to be something in the drinking water, which isn't really any more plausible.

Monday 15th January 1996

Ben has replaced Scott as the Roswell Alien in my crazy science sketch. I annoyed Ozzie by saying I thought the Year 7 cooking spoof was better than his.

I gave the "Aliens" book to Andrew.

Sunday 14th January 1996

Andrew owes me 10p for two issues of Lateral Thinking. Hardly anybody reads that nowadays. Opting instead for The Truth!

"Lateral Thinking" was Andrew's puzzle magazine on my Psion. I don't know why it was on my Psion, seeing as he had his own. Perhaps it was on both. I think I was a lot more generous with letting people use it, which may have secured a regular readership for "The Truth!", but also brought upon it several near misses with the floor.

Saturday 13th January 1996

Andrew has organised a quiz of sci-fi and isn't allowing Scott to join in. I prepared my "Aliens" knowledge for next Friday.

Friday 12th January 1996

Ben has been joining us for games of 'it' recently. Scott is letting me in on their trip.

Thursday 11th January 1996

Easy Technology test. Then continued with project. I am doing a shark with moving mouth. Andrew is doing a snake and Glenn is doing a dog.

Wednesday 10th January 1996

It wasn't Simon, so who was the evil hater of Jonathan?

Poisonous gases in phsyics. Luckily, Chris was away; fumes give him and Marc migraines.

Tuesday 9th January 1996

Apparently it was Simon's idea not to invite me for fun. Both have been deleted from P-Mail and so both a very annoyed.

"The X-Files" was good. It was about freaks; "Humbug".

Monday 8th January 1996

Simon did 10 pages and Chris 21. Andrew won't say.

Scott thinks he can intimidate me by inviting everybody but me to a town trip.

And it always worked like a charm. So it became a regular occurrence.

Sunday 7th January 1996

Phew! One geography project finished with 16 pages of text and diagrams.

Saturday 6th January 1996

Tried printer but it doesn't work. Continued to write it out.

Friday 5th January 1996

Finally got to do the majority of Snout's lines at MND. I still haven't done the 'doth befall' bit which I have memorised.

Started the final copy of my Geography project. The printer messed up when electricity went for a few seconds. I have started to write it out by hand.

Thursday 4th January 1996

I watched some of "The Terminator" and videoed the rest. I spotted 3 people from "Aliens" - Michael Biehn as Kyle Reese, Lance Henriksen as a detective and Bill Paxton as a punk-gang leader.

Unsurprising, seeing as "The Terminator" and "Aliens" had the same director, James Cameron, who regularly casts those three in his movies.

Wednesday 3rd January 1996

I bought "UFO Magazine", Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" tape and "The X-Files: Whirlwind".

As avid readers of "The Truth!" will recall, I decided to copy what they did in SFX and under the contents section, put 'This issue was put together to...' and then a song. And it was always Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" or the "Friends" theme by The Rembrandts. It was like a guessing game: which one did he listen to this week? Usually I alternated it, even though I was listening to both all the time, but sometimes just to catch them out I'd have the same song two weeks running. In the interest of getting myself in the early 1996 mood, I am currently listening to that "Gangsta's Paradise" tape I bought a decade ago. I still can't understand the lyrics, but at least there's not a "bitch", "ho" or "cap" in them.

Tuesday 2nd January 1996

Scott and I are going to the town tomorrow.

Monday 1st January 1996

It's reflection time!
January: Scott and I researched 'Treasure'.
February: Graham got his pocketbook.
March: Starred in The Roses Of Eyam.
April: Panaramic photo taken.
May: Exams and The X-Files mag launched.
June: The Wilcoxes moved in next door.
July: Played Cyclops in Junior Showcase: Odyssey.
August: Holidays.
September: Started a new craze with my Aliens game.
October: Started eating sunflower seeds.
November: Smellovision on TV.
December: Christmas.