A fine portrait of the dashing Mr Smith. "Do smouldering, Chris, that's it, make lurve to the camera!" we chimed. Actually, we didn't. He didn't want a photo of him taken in the infamous Hat of Wank, which I assumed was a tea cosy before somebody put it on. Needless to say, it belonged to that purveyor of fine continental fashions, Peter Dingler. Yes, the German. He also wears dorags. They also look like tea cosies.