“Freak,” he said under his breath.

“They make great water bombs!” Ellie called after the guy. The kid didn’t hear or at least didn’t respond.

Simon and Ellie burst out laughing.

“Did you buy those rubbers in there?” Ellie said as they started walking down the road.

Simon hesitated. “No.”

She hit him gentle. “Liar.”

Simon laughed.

“It was very presumptuous of you to think I was going to sleep with you tonight,” she said. “I think that deserves another slap.” Which she gave him.

Simon recoiled, wincing as if it had hurt. “I didn’t think you were going to sleep with me. That’s why I sold it to him.”

“Well, that was very presumptuous of you too.”

Then she stopped walking, grabbed his wrist and swung in for a kiss. Simon couldn’t help laughing out of the corners of his mouth as she kissed him.

Ellie slapped him again.

“So are we heading to your place or mine?” he asked.

Ellie screwed up her nose. “Which is closest?”

“Mine.”

She nodded and smiled. “Yours it is, then.” She narrowed her eyes. “This g-string is killing .I’m desperate to take it off.” She smiled even more broadly.

Simon swallowed. “Okay, mine it is, then.”

When they got back to the house, Simon’s housemate Rob was sitting in the lounge with his chum Terry, who they had invited to move into their empty third bedroom, but who would rather live at home with his parents rent-free. Rob was playing on the Playstation. Terry was on his mobile.

“Guys, this is Ellie,” Simon said.

“Hi,” said Rob as they walked through the room. He looked bemused, but he always looked bemused when drunk.

“Hey, guys,” Ellie said, smiling.

Terry waved but kept on talking.

Simon thought she looked uncomfortable around them. He took her by the hand and led up the stairs. They went into his bedroom, the one with the poster of Albert Einstein poking his tongue out on the door, and Simon locked them in.

Ellie walked around the room, nodding slowly, which is what girls always did, sussing out their environment like lionesses. She laughed when she saw his fish bowl and tapped the glass.

“There’s nothing in there,” Simon said. “It died.”

“Oh. What was it called?”

“Reginald.”

She laughed and moved onto his books and DVDs.

Simon sat down on the bed. “Simon says: come and sit here with me.”

Ellie turned and raised an eyebrow. “Does he now?”

“Come on. Play properly. You know the rules.”

She laughed and came and sat beside him.

“Simon says: kiss me.”

“I think I like this game,” she said as he leaned in. They embraced for about half a minute.

“Simon says: unzip me.”

Ellie grinned and did as she was told.

“Give me a blow job.”

She laughed. “You didn’t say ‘Simon says’.”

He grinned. “I know.”

They looked at each other for a brief silence.

“I will if you want, though,” she said.

“Simon says: yes please!”

“Ellie says: lie back.”

Simon lay down on the bed and put his arms behind his head. He felt her hand reaching into his boxers. He closed his eyes. The air felt cool on his hot crotch. She took hold and he was hard before she closed her lips.

There was a knock on the door.

Simon sighed. “What?”

“Er, hey. Uh, before you guys start anything, have you got any cash on you?” It was Rob.

Ellie backed off. Simon sat up straight.

“What’s wrong with the cash machine?” he said.

“It’s not working, and the next nearest one is in town, and it’s late, and that might not be working either.”

“Sorry,” Simon said to Ellie.

She wiped her mouth and nodded.

“What’s the urgency? Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

“Terry’s been on the phone to Bosie. He’s got some stuff. We’re going round now.”

Simon sighed again. “Okay, how much?”

“We only need a fiver.”

Simon stood up, did up his flies and felt around for some change. He unlocked the door. Rob was standing on the other side, clutching his elbow and looked awkward. Behind him, Terry was lingering at the top of the stairs.

“There,” Simon said, holding out the money and adding so quietly Ellie wouldn’t hear, “Knock on this door again and I’ll fucking murder the both of you.”

NOTES:
After the coitus interruptus of the Adam/Tina section, I wanted to get at least one full proper sex scene in, and this was going to be it. I don't know why I changed my mind at the last minute. Perhaps because, like the Sandra/Pete sex scene that never was, it isn't really necessary, and if a sex scene isn't necessary, it's just pornography. And it'd be far beneath me to write anything remotely pornographic, wouldn't it?