Simple Hell (1999)

NOTES:
During my lower sixth year at Southend High School for Boys, I took on the thankless task of resurrecting the school newspaper, for which I received no end of flak, and regretted committing myself after only a few months. I am indebted to sixth form head Maurice Reeve, who supported me unflinchingly - even when I accidentally put an animal porn website in one issue and embarrassed parents rang up the school anonymously to report it. He told me right at the start that most school newspapers fold after a couple of issues, so I was determined to prove him wrong and stuck with it for a year, but truth be told, part of me was glad when he retired, then I could quit. Anyway, contrary to popular opinion back then, the highlight for me was not the provocative editorials but the very short stories myself or editorial partner Chris Wilkins wrote for each issue. Most of the ones I wrote aren’t as good as I remember, but these two I think are still worthy of reproducing here.