"The Voice" stories	1998/9	A selection of stories I wrote for my high school magazine.	-
Don't Walk On The Cracks!	1999	Children at a primary school make up stories about the Gravemen - monsters that apparently haunt the graveyard of the church next door. But when one of them dies, they realise just who the real Gravemen are.	1036 words
You Cut The Brakes...	2000	A woman having an affair with her husband's best friend tries to explain to him that she had her spouse killed so that they could be together. But then it turns out her husband has survived her murder attempt.	501 words
The Movement	2001	After an apocalyptic Third World War, orphaned youths are brought up by a religious sect that believes in reincarnation, and that only those who are reincarnated of pure souls can enter Heaven. But when a mysterious man turns up at the order, he throws a new light onto the sect's spiritual elitism.	2519 words
Liep's Father's Trousers	2001/2	A young boy in a Polish concentration camp during World War Two spots another man wearing his father's clothes and decides to follow him, with perilous consequences.	871 words
The Cupboard Under The Stairs	2002	A mother keeps her son imprisoned indoors, warning him that if he goes outside zombies will get him. But when he sees another child through a window he's forbidden to look out of, the son starts to doubt her word.	2816 words
The Great Magnifico	2002	An incompetent stage magician at a tawdry holiday camp is amazed when one of his magic tricks actually works and the man in a box disappears. But in his place appears another man, and nobody can find the first.	1905 words
Freestyle exercise	2003	A typically oblivious middle class suburbanite worries about his in-growing toenail whilst one of his sons has underage sex and another goes around breaking windows.	2134 words
Making Friends	2003	An artificial being is brought into the world fully matured, but without any social skills. He's given a mobile phone and sets about making friends by randomly calling others, but then his phone is stolen.	715 words
Swinging In The Rain	2003	A middle-aged crisis case sneaks away in the middle of the night during thunderstorms to go and play on the swings in a local park. On one occasion he meets someone else doing exactly the same thing.	3717 words
Protect And Survive	2003	George Bush Senior chokes to death on a pretzel given to him by Tony Blair, which Bush Junior thinks is a covert assassination attempt, and declares war. In the final few hours before the bombs drop, Cherie bakes cookies and Euan Blair tries to shag anything that moves. Including his sister.	1380 words
The Crazies	2003	A man is locked up in a lunatic asylum when he starts seeing people nobody else can see. But when he starts to recognise those people visiting him, he begins to doubt his insanity and comes to a new theory altogether.	1710 words
The True Confessions Of Dorian Gray	2003/4	As Jack the Ripper stalks London's undercity, an extremely vain man gives an account of a visit he made to a mysterious prostitute that was not all she seemed, and who changed his life forever.	5130 words
The Story Of River The Bear	2004	On a parallel world, teddy bears are alive, and it is we humans that sit immobile on the shelf. But when the teddy bear world comes to an end, the entire teddy bear race have only one option open to them: an invasion of the furry kind.	3993 words
Belief In Magic	2004	A boy gets a week off school with the mumps and goes to spend it with his uncle, who tells him a story about a haunted island. At the first opportunity, he mounts an expedition to investigate, with his cousin, his cousin's friends and a sickly neighbour. But what they discover on the island is far scarier than ghosts.	9040 words
Coming-of-age thing	2004	A series of related coming-of-age stories.	-
The Cradle Will Rock	2006	Having watched an animated film on nuclear war thinking it was a cartoon, a young girl persuades a friend to help construct a fall-out shelter and prepare for the end of the civilisation. Except all they have to build one is an old picnic table, and things don't go according to plan when other children turn up, wanting to join in.	tbc
The Bottle-collectors	2006	Submitted for consideration.	4336

LONGER FICTION

Tails	2001	A boy with a tail starts a new school hoping to hide it from all the other kids, but his secret is revealed on his first day. As the other kids ostracise him, he makes friends with a little girl who they also isolate, supposedly for being a witch. At first all the pair of them have to fend off is the bullies, but then the boy starts to get untoward attention from a mysterious man, leading to a surprising confrontation.
"Alien" stories	2001-	A selection of stories set in the "Alien" universe.
Knocking Heads Off Stone Angels	2003	A student dies in mysterious circumstances and his identical twin brother comes to campus to investigate, refusing to believe it was suicide. As he encounters more and more of his brother's friends, however, he begins to get an insight into the strange world that his brother inhabited, none more so than when one of them who had a crush on his brother transfers his affections to him.
Untitled on-going project	2003-	An ageing concentration camp survivor wakes up one day to find the rest of the world has forgotten the Holocaust happened. But as he sets about trying to convince them of his experiences, they put him in a lunatic asylum for dreaming up such disturbing false memories. There he meets a man driven crazy with insomnia that lives in his own personal time-zone, and is able to convince him to help him escape.
Injun Boy	2003	On the brink of the American Civil War, a corrupt Arkansas plantation owner kidnaps the son of a local cowboy and uses the teen to blackmail the cattle rustler into committing crimes for him. But when the cowboy is killed, his son escapes and vows revenge. A chance encounter with local Indians leads him to a gang of renegade freedom fighters, and he formulates a plan to help them liberate a plantation.
The Rabbits Of Roadkill Turnpike	2003/4	Following a nuclear war, there are no more humans left to keep the rabbit population in check, so the leader of one colony plots genocide against his own people to remedy the problem. But an outsider, come looking for his missing daughter, is disgusted by what he discovers, and pledges to lead a weak, outnumbered resistance movement in a great civil war the likes of which nature has never seen.
Predator: Voyage Of The Damned	2004	In October 1962, an American cruiser in the Sea of Japan investigates an unidentified flying object, but several hours later is found an abandoned ghost ship by both a Japanese fishing boat and a Soviet submarine. The expatriate American captain of the fishing boat is taken prisoner aboard the Russian submarine, but it turns out that what killed the cruiser's crew has hitched a ride back to Vladivostok with them.
Unfinished technothriller	2005	A drug addict tries a mind-expanding new psychotropic and is promptly discovered dead. When the coroner carries out an autopsy, she discovers an image burnt onto the back of his retinas. Employing the help of an eye specialist, she ends up on the trail of a pharmaceutical corporate conspiracy to cover up the true nature and far-reaching implications of the research into synthesising this new narcotic.
Doctor Who: Curse Of The Cybermen	2005	The ninth Doctor and Rose become trapped on a military shuttle just before it crash lands on a barren, seemingly abandoned world. Joining forces for survival with the marines, the Doctor quickly discovers his old nemesis the Cybermen have also crashed on the planet, but that a far more dangerous enemy than that is lying in wait, and has been for thousands of years.
A Day In The Life Of A Pound Coin	2005	A couple of kids find a pound coin on their grandfather's carpet, with which he sends them off to the sweet shop. En route, it is stolen by a troll-like youth on a bridge who proceeds to use it to buy some weed. Before the dealer can spend it, he is accosted by his sister who needs to pay a gas bill, and when she heads off to town with it, so starts a long day in the life of the coin that takes it from one end of the country to the other and back.

SCRIPTS

Flipside	2004/5	A twentysomething whose mother decided not to have him aborted by flipping a coin surrenders his own life to the whims of fate. He uses a coin to decide what to wear, what to eat, whether to go out on a date. And then a charity collector comes a-calling for a donation.
The Vanished (episode one)	2006	When a London MP's daughter disappears in mysterious circumstances, a maligned genre writer starts to notice inexplicable similarities between a novel he wrote thirty years before and real events. Believing it to be a copycat crime, he approaches the police with what he thinks he knows, except the truth could be far more sinister.

ESSAYS

Morality in British fiction of the 1960s	Coming soon
Characterisation in "The Tin Drum"	Coming soon
How ordinary were perpetrators of the Holocaust?	Coming soon
The isolated self in "Othello" and "Richard III"	Coming soon
High and low culture in Shakespeare	Coming soon
Is "Morte Darthur" historical fiction?	Coming soon
How King Arthur relates to World War Two	Coming soon

BIZARRIOS

A Day In The Life Of Jack T. Writer

A writer working in a library is accosted by literary terrorists (i.e. critics) who, in the name of Barthes, Derrida and the deconstructionist movement, intend to kill off the idea of authorship. But the writer shows them how the author is within the text, how meaning is not free of context, and how in the end, the author and reader must exist in a symbiotic relationship for the survival of the text.

Martin's Adventures In Wonderland

Carrollian-obsessive literary critic Martin Gardner takes a vicar and a scientist into the real Wonderland to discover the meaning of the books. As they tear their way through the fictional world trying to explain it, they kill and dissect the White Rabbit, fight the Club cards, introduce the idea of God to make things simpler, and end up encountering the author himself. But he doesn't have the answers either, and maybe that's the point.

GUITAR TABS

"Red Dwarf" theme

The melody for "Red Dwarf" in tabulated form.